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19 May 2011

Tips and Techniques to Get Ex Boyfriend Back

Do you want to get ex boyfriend back?  Are you reeling from his desire to call the relationship quits?  Do you have an empty place in your heart – and in your life – where he used to be? Here are some tips and techniques to get ex boyfriend back.

First of all, whatever you do, don’t chase him.  This means lay off the texts, the phone calls, and the stalking.  Don’t just show up where he happens to be.  This stalking behavior will just turn him off.  He’s got to want to come back to you, not the other way around.  That’s the only way to get ex boyfriend back.

Instead of pursuing him, start to work on you.  In order to get ex boyfriend back, you need to become a more positive person.  You probably have many negative emotions right now including loss and hurt.  You need to purge these feelings and get back on a positive note.
One way to do this is to write a long letter to your boyfriend talking about all of the good times you had, all of the hurts you experienced, and all of the things you wished you had told him.  Once you have poured your heart out on paper, burn the letter.  That’s right.  Whatever you do, DON’T SEND THE LETTER.  Instead, light a match and watch the flame consume the paper.  This will give you some closure to that portion of the relationship.

After you have burned the letter, eliminate all negativity from your life.  Don’t let your girlfriends talk badly about your ex.  And, to the extent possible, be positive about your whole life.
When you do think about the relationship, remember what made it strong.  Think about the good times you had.  If you do occasionally talk to your ex, bring up the positive experiences and avoid fighting about the issues that ended it.  If you want to get ex boyfriend back, you have to remind him what was good about the relationship.

To this end, focus your energy working on your strengths.  For instance, if your boyfriend always praised you on being a good cook, take a gourmet cooking class.  Get even better at the things you are good at.
But don’t neglect your weaknesses either.  If your ex complained about how you were a slob, start picking things around the house.  Make an effort to become a better person if you want to get ex boyfriend back.

Finally, you should be available – to him and others.  If someone asks you out on a date, accept it.  You don’t have to be head over heals in love with a guy to go out to dinner with him. 
As your ex sees you as a desirable catch, he’s going to want to get back into your life.  By focusing on the positive and working on your strengths and weaknesses, you are sure to get ex boyfriend back.

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17 May 2011

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Here are some clues:
    · Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
    · While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
    · Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
    · Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
    · You have changed things about yourself to please them.
Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  And, they may not know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression. 
Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.
For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships. 

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.
The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Sometimes it takes a little space.  Other times, it takes counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you. 
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag the other person.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.
A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.
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Can I Save My Marriage – Its Up To You

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save my marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."
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