7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship.

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship?  Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first.  For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up?  Wrong!  Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship.  The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.  This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive.  Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work.  Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message.  This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language.  If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying.  When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency.  If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need.  When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.  When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship. 

Don’t keep secrets.  Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.  Be honest and open.  Assume everything you know will eventually come out.  Secrets require enormous energy on your part.  That is energy that could be going into building the relationship. 

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are.  Don’ t make him or her guess what you need.  Let them know.  It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish.  Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no.  When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing.  But you don’t need to say yes to everything.  A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.  Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually build trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth.  When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt.  Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain.  But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth.  Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.  These become the fertilizer for growth and change.  Embrace what is difficult. 

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain.  But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.
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Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Read 5 Simple Tips

It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back.  It's not really our fault.  No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup.  Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup.. If you want your ex boyfriend back then  these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:
1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight.  You need to get rid of the negative thoughts.  You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You have to be willing to be strong. 

Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down.  You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear.  Negative thoughts are destructive behavior. 
2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over.  All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened.  You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past. 
Focus on what is going on now.  If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back.  Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened.  Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day.  Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.
 
3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend.  Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them.  Especially ex boyfriends.  You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while.  Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him.  Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake.  He may begin to actually miss you.  If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.
4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup.  Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle.  If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy.  When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside.  By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy.  When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others.  You will become an object of desire to men.  This includes your ex boyfriend.
5.Take it slow.  If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you.  Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4.  He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you.  Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him. 
Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you.  If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy.  It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.
These tips may not be easy for you to do at first.  You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation.  These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup
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How To Win Back Lost Love

If you’ve had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love.  Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different.  You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything.  Think about how things were and how they will be now.  Try to be as unbiased as you can.  You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea. 

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize.  You might think you’ve done this.  You might have said you were sorry several times.  But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere. 
If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again.  Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it.  (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them.  You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive.  Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it.  If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it.  And it can help prevent problems in the future, too. 

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up.  If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything.  Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said. 

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past.  While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped.  They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt.  While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.
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Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling

                     Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce.  But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor.  Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road.  Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

                    Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option.  Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

                If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way.  If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea.  Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

                     If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably.  Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse.  Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling.  Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so.  Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

                    Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades.  It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems.  And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling.  But that’s not true.  But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

                    If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true.  Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

                   If your partner refuses, go on your own.  While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.
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Stop Divorce and Save Your Relationship / marriage

             If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person what wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try.  This isn’t always possible, but it’s absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce.  A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork.  The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not anytime soon.

             So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?

              If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce.  Explain that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way.  The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances.  Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very sad, and you really want another chance.  You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.
You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too. If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.

                During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you.  You can remind them why you’re together in the first place.  And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but permanently.

                When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later.  Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier.  So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling.  It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.
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