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31 May 2011

How to Win Love Back With Common Sense

How to win love back is a topic that I want to talk about today.  Too many people do this all wrong.  They think that they must aggressively pursue their ex in order to get him or her back.  In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.  If you want to know how to win love back, follow the advice in this article as closely as possible.
The first thing you need to know in the how to win love back arena is that you do not want to chase your ex. 
Too many guys think they must pursue their ex’s.  They send hundreds of texts, call at odd hours of the day, and even stalk their ex girlfriend’s home.  They send flowers and gifts. 
This is wrong, wrong, wrong because it makes you look desperate.  Women like Alpha males, not sniveling guys they think are jokes.  When you appear desperate, your ex girlfriend will start playing head games with you.  She’ll let you come over, and then invite a new guy over too.  She’ll pretend she’s interested only to go off in another direction.
And, the more you fall into this trap, the more games she’ll play.  This is not the answer to how to win love back.
Instead of chasing her and being desperate, you need to play games with her that make her come crawling to you.
When you are in a group that includes her, flirt with every girl but her.  If she has an enemy in the group, pay special attention to that girl.  By ignoring your ex, you make her want to come back to you.  You are reminding her of all of your charms, but not applying them to her.
It’s a good idea to go out on a date with one of her close friends.  Send your ex a text message saying “now that we’re just friends, I wanted your opinion on something.  Where should I take Mary to dinner after the big game?”  That is sure to make your ex girlfriend jealous and it’s one of the tricks for how to win love back.
Even if you don’t want to play head games with your ex, there is one thing that you can do that may help you in the how to win love back arena.  That is, you should be happy.
Girls like to date happy guys.  If you work on you rather than focus on her, you have a much better chance getting her back.
Go work out at the gym.  Hang with your buddies.  Get involved in a hobby you never had time for when you were dating her.  Go out on dates.  Even if you have to fake being happy initially, you will soon realize that you really are happy.
This way, whether you get the girl back or you move on, you will be a happier person.
And, that is my advice for how to win love back.
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19 May 2011

Tips and Techniques to Get Ex Boyfriend Back

Do you want to get ex boyfriend back?  Are you reeling from his desire to call the relationship quits?  Do you have an empty place in your heart – and in your life – where he used to be? Here are some tips and techniques to get ex boyfriend back.

First of all, whatever you do, don’t chase him.  This means lay off the texts, the phone calls, and the stalking.  Don’t just show up where he happens to be.  This stalking behavior will just turn him off.  He’s got to want to come back to you, not the other way around.  That’s the only way to get ex boyfriend back.

Instead of pursuing him, start to work on you.  In order to get ex boyfriend back, you need to become a more positive person.  You probably have many negative emotions right now including loss and hurt.  You need to purge these feelings and get back on a positive note.
One way to do this is to write a long letter to your boyfriend talking about all of the good times you had, all of the hurts you experienced, and all of the things you wished you had told him.  Once you have poured your heart out on paper, burn the letter.  That’s right.  Whatever you do, DON’T SEND THE LETTER.  Instead, light a match and watch the flame consume the paper.  This will give you some closure to that portion of the relationship.

After you have burned the letter, eliminate all negativity from your life.  Don’t let your girlfriends talk badly about your ex.  And, to the extent possible, be positive about your whole life.
When you do think about the relationship, remember what made it strong.  Think about the good times you had.  If you do occasionally talk to your ex, bring up the positive experiences and avoid fighting about the issues that ended it.  If you want to get ex boyfriend back, you have to remind him what was good about the relationship.

To this end, focus your energy working on your strengths.  For instance, if your boyfriend always praised you on being a good cook, take a gourmet cooking class.  Get even better at the things you are good at.
But don’t neglect your weaknesses either.  If your ex complained about how you were a slob, start picking things around the house.  Make an effort to become a better person if you want to get ex boyfriend back.

Finally, you should be available – to him and others.  If someone asks you out on a date, accept it.  You don’t have to be head over heals in love with a guy to go out to dinner with him. 
As your ex sees you as a desirable catch, he’s going to want to get back into your life.  By focusing on the positive and working on your strengths and weaknesses, you are sure to get ex boyfriend back.

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17 May 2011

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Here are some clues:
    · Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
    · While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
    · Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
    · Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
    · You have changed things about yourself to please them.
Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  And, they may not know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression. 
Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.
For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships. 

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.
The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Sometimes it takes a little space.  Other times, it takes counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you. 
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag the other person.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.
A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.
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Can I Save My Marriage – Its Up To You

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save my marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."
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14 May 2011

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship.


Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship?  Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first.  For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up?  Wrong!  Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship.  The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.  This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive.  Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work.  Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message.  This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language.  If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying.  When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency.  If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need.  When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.  When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship. 

Don’t keep secrets.  Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.  Be honest and open.  Assume everything you know will eventually come out.  Secrets require enormous energy on your part.  That is energy that could be going into building the relationship. 

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are.  Don’ t make him or her guess what you need.  Let them know.  It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish.  Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no.  When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing.  But you don’t need to say yes to everything.  A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.  Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually build trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth.  When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt.  Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain.  But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth.  Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.  These become the fertilizer for growth and change.  Embrace what is difficult. 

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain.  But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.
visit http://www.mymagicofmakingups.info for more information.

12 May 2011

Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Read 5 Simple Tips


It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back.  It's not really our fault.  No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup.  Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup.. If you want your ex boyfriend back then  these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:
1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight.  You need to get rid of the negative thoughts.  You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You have to be willing to be strong. 

Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down.  You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear.  Negative thoughts are destructive behavior. 
2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over.  All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened.  You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past. 
Focus on what is going on now.  If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back.  Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened.  Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day.  Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.
 
3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend.  Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them.  Especially ex boyfriends.  You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while.  Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him.  Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake.  He may begin to actually miss you.  If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.
4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup.  Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle.  If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy.  When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside.  By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy.  When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others.  You will become an object of desire to men.  This includes your ex boyfriend.
5.Take it slow.  If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you.  Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4.  He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you.  Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him. 
Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you.  If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy.  It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.
These tips may not be easy for you to do at first.  You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation.  These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup
visit http://www.mymagicofmakingups.info for more information.

How To Win Back Lost Love

If you’ve had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love.  Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different.  You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything.  Think about how things were and how they will be now.  Try to be as unbiased as you can.  You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea. 

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize.  You might think you’ve done this.  You might have said you were sorry several times.  But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere. 
If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again.  Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it.  (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them.  You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive.  Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it.  If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it.  And it can help prevent problems in the future, too. 

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up.  If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything.  Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said. 

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past.  While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped.  They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt.  While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.
visit http://www.mymagicofmakingups.info

11 May 2011

Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling

                     Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce.  But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor.  Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road.  Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

                    Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option.  Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

                If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way.  If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea.  Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

                     If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably.  Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse.  Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling.  Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so.  Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

                    Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades.  It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems.  And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling.  But that’s not true.  But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

                    If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true.  Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

                   If your partner refuses, go on your own.  While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.
  For more information visit. http://www.mymagicofmakingups.info.

Stop Divorce and Save Your Relationship / marriage

             If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person what wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try.  This isn’t always possible, but it’s absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce.  A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork.  The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not anytime soon.

             So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?

              If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce.  Explain that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way.  The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances.  Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very sad, and you really want another chance.  You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.
You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too. If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.

                During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you.  You can remind them why you’re together in the first place.  And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but permanently.

                When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later.  Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier.  So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling.  It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.
  For more infomation on how to enrich your relationship visit
 http://www.mymagicofmakingups.info.